Peaceland: Intentions 2017

• Do what I have to do to minimize my expenses in Sarasota and save as much money as possible for the next 3 months, until May 1st.
• Work as a server on Siesta Key... ride my bike to work daily
• Make mad money serving n shit

Aahh warm tears stoll down my cheek

haven't felt this real/good in many a week

Crying from pure beauty and goodness... feeling it so strong... feeling the oneness, the peace, the love, the bliss.

Thank you universe. Thank you Self. Thank you Nujabes. Thank you Shing02. Thank you Music. Thank you vibration. Thank you life. Thank you death. Thank you.

• Travel to Yangshuo China and study Self Healing for 6 months at the amazing Wandering Dao Qigong school. Detoxify and discipline myself like never before. Be surrounded by a beautiful community of like-minded healers and adventurous spirits. Become empowered fully as a healer of eastern energy arts and teacher/passer-on of wisdom and nature.
• The first 3 months, from June 18 til September 30, will be the Work Study Program. 100 days of work and study, in the mountains of china, spending 4 hours a day teaching and training, and 4 hours doing work on community tasks for the center and holding public meditation sessions.
• Come back to the states completely rejuvenated, strengthened, disciplined, refreshed and inspired like never before. Visit friends and family in Florida. Move to Colorado. Live an active, fun, social life in Colorado, offering my services, teaching yoga, meditation and self healing. Possibly attend Naropa institute for further education in an amazing environment. Live a very social life among young and vibrant people in an amazing part of the world, with free weed and diversity and good vibes all over - and living it in the transformed body and mind I will be inhabiting post my chinese adventure/education!
• Devote myself to music in a strong way. Learn instruments. Write more and more poetry and more and more songs.
• From there... who knows. Spend years working in my field as a natural healer and holistic practitioner. Start my own business and my own holistic centers. Travel more. Explore living in intentional community? Who knows! :)

Dawn of a New Me

My heart is being burst wide open
as tears of joy and sadness melt out of me,
softening years of tears and ushering the
dawn of a new me.

PeaceLand.

Who I am.
Where I'm going.
The live I live/will live,
The life I will share
As my Offering
To the All.

Peace Land.

Land of peace. Harmony.
Within and without.
Balance. Nature flourishing.
Human spirit free. At peace. At ease. Finally.
Human body strong and comfortable. Finally.
Human heart open, loving, compassionate, wise, fearless, still.
Finally.
Consciousness of One's "identity"/essence
As One.
THE One.
The All.
I AM.
Awareness itself. Consciousness. The one - The Dreamer and The Dream.
Love. Everlasting. Infinity.
Creation Itself.
I AM That.
ALL is - That.

PeaceLand.

*Accompanied by "Nujabes - Peaceland.*

New Day - Sun Shines Again (Life is Good)

As I re-read my blog post from yesterday, I can't help but be struck at how much can change in such a little time. Energetically and spiritually, I am at a different place than I was yesterday, when I wrote that. My view on myself, the recent past and all has shifted once again - for the better, I must say.

My main point yesterday, was that all things are impermanent, and that we should not get stuck grasping to anything. When things are good, enjoy them - but don't cling to them, and when things are bad, bear them with grace, and know they will soon pass.

I've had another shift in my perception the past couple of days. I have meditated, done a good bit of yoga, and been listening to a great, enlightened audiobook entitled "You Are A Badass" by Jen Sincero... who I feel is very tapped into universal truth, and her own "higher self". All of this together has helped me to come back to my true nature and step outside and beyond the drama of my ego mind.

I realized that much of what has been causing me to feel not well these past few days, along with fear and stress directly relating to money, has been nothing more than the blabbering drama of the ego mind. Essentially - worry, doubt, insecurity. The silly, conditioned brain-chatter of the ego had temporarily taken the reigns, and I was tossed about in the storms of low-vibration, unpleasant emotions because of this.

Thankfully, I have been able to see through this and come back to my true self, my true nature... and I feel re-aligned and re-centered once again. I remember my purpose, my path, and my direction. I remember that all is OK as it is - yes there is darkness and evil in the world, but love and goodness and truth always prevails over ignorance. I am here to spread the message of wisdom, love, transformation, inspiration, healing, freedom, and joy to the world... through music, through writing, through other expressions of creativity, through healing practices such as thai yoga massage, through teaching yoga, meditation and other spiritual practices, and through my very presence. My purpose here is to embody my highest and truest self - free from the limitations and conditioned patterns and the fears of my conditioned ego mind, basking in the boundless sky of my true nature, full of infinite possibilities and potential.

Now that I am back at this space of pure presence and inner quiet - freed from the turbulent storms of the mind that had cropped up - I see things from a much clearer, more expanded and accurate perspective. I am grateful for these times of emotional hardship the past few days/weeks... they have taught me a lot. I am stronger and even more centered and grounded than before. It has forced me to bring myself back to center in a major way.

I once again feel like my cup is overflowing... with peace and happiness...
and that is where I like to be.

I like to be spilling my cup of all things good and beautiful and true everywhere I go, splashing people with drops of love and kindness and humor and good-will effortlessly.

There are many things in my future that I am very excited about. I am the Soul Creator of my life - I am a being of infinite possibility, and whatever I dream and envision, I can manifest into reality. What I envision, I can attract. I know this to be true because that is exactly how I got to where I am in my journey so far. All of the beautiful, magical experiences I've had and the beautiful, magical people in my life are evidence of that. Now that I am back to my center, I remember that this is the way things will continue to flow. Things will continue to bloom and blossom... more amazing experiences with amazing people will continue to flow into my reality... and love and joy and wisdom and good vibrations will continue to emanate into the world from all directions coming from the center of my open heart.

Making music... by myself, with Travis, with Kelsey, with Cian, with Jacob, with Jay Soulfuric, with so many of my talented friends, and with people who I can't even foresee yet.

Traveling... by myself, with other people close to my heart... to amazing locations... freeing myself of the weight of the survival grind in Babylon and taking time to truly decompress and re-discover the immense wonder and awe of life in new and beautiful environments.

Learning new things. Reading new books. Continuing to expand my mind and my skill sets. Learning new instruments. Learning new skills. Soft martial arts (aikido, tai-chi). Thai yoga massage.

Living a life of Being mySelf, loving mySelf, and thus, loving all others as well... exactly as I am, and exactly as they are. All is, as it is - Love it all, and be at Peace. What is ultimately more important than that?

Life is good. Even when it's bad, it's Good. :)

... and the seasons continued to revolve. Phases and cycles of Life

Life is a never-ending journey. We all go through and experience the full range of human experience: joy and pain, laughter and tears, victory and defeat, expansion and contraction, highs and lows, gain and loss, strength and weakness, health and illness, ease and disease, freedom and bondage, ecstasy and heartbreak... and all the grey areas in between. 

This is the nature of this dual universe. This is the natural way of life. All that arises must dissolve. All that comes together comes apart. All forms and phenomena are impermanent. No-thing lasts forever. All things are in constant change and constant flux. This is the indisputable truth of reality - this is the true nature of reality. Forever swinging from one pole to the other and back again... yin, then yang, then yin, then yang. On and on and on.

In our lives, we experience first hand that when we try to grasp at this eternal flux - to change this flux, to control this flux, to capture and hold and freeze this flux, to rewind this flux, to fastforward this flux - and we inevitably learn that this control is only an illusion. A futile delusion. Ultimately, there is no controlling and containing and grasping this eternally changing interconnected flow and play of opposites that is reality. Things come, and things change, and things go - and this is the way things are. If we resist this, and refuse to come to terms with this - we will suffer. We will forever be trying to grasp the river in the palm of our hands, and always flailing in our frustration and futility.  If we accept this truth - if we accept the true nature and way of reality - then we can let go of our desire to control, our need/desire to predict, our desire to go back to the past, our desire to change what is... we can truly, deeply, deeply let go... and finally end the war within. Finally be completely at peace with what is - ALL that is.

Let me use concrete examples. Let me use my life, my experience, my story. 

I am at an interesting place in my life. In many ways, I feel better than ever before. I am living on my own, I've met some really cool people, I am going to school on my path to being a teacher of spiritual transformation and healer, I have so many people to love and be loved by, I have passions and creative impulses and the means and motivation to use that creativity and share it... I have so much to be grateful for and in many ways I am at a further evolutionary point along my journey than ever before. I have so many awesome dreams and visions that I am working on creating and looking forward to manifesting and experiencing in my future. My future is bright and the present isn't too bad either, if just a little overcast some days.

However, there are certain aspects that I wish I could change about my current situation. In many ways, as a natural result of the eternal law of cause and effect (karma), I feel that I am not living in the way that would bring about OPTIMUM health and happiness and vitality. I have not been sleeping properly for many months now, and I have been dealing with a chronic form of sleep deprivation. I am literally functioning at sub-optimal capacity brain-wise for months now. I don't concentrate properly, my energy throughout the day are much lower than they used to be when I was younger and more active. I am not as sharp and energetic and quick/witty as I used to be. I have a different sense of self. Socially, I am not as extroverted and fearless and energetic as I used to be. I feel like I used to reach out more, and make others laugh more. I engaged others more. I am more inward-going and to myself now. 

My digestion and eating have suffered the past few months as well. I feel under-nourished a lot of the time, sometimes I try to eat breakfast and things I used to eat easily, like cold cereal, and nowdays even though I am hungry I can hardly finish a third of the bowl. I can feel myself losing muscle mass and my physical body is getting less comfortable the more muscle I lose. Between the overall lack of sleep and lack of eating over the past few months, my vitality feels at an all-time low... or at least the lowest it has felt in a long time. As a result of low vitality, I am not as productive, not as social, I don't feel as confident about myself, and I don't live to the loudest and brightest degree that I know I could be living.

Now, let me go back to the start of this journal and the main topic of this little monologue. Duality, the eternal flux of opposites, the impermanent nature of the universe, grasping, judging, suffering, and letting go.

This too shall pass.

That is the truth - the eternal, undeniable truth about ALL apparent phenomena in the universe. All that "arises" in the universe is but a temporary reconfiguration of the eternal energy, the ONE unified field that is the all. All things come together and are "born/arise/manifest".... they sustain for a certain amount of time... what we call "life" or "existence... being....". and then they "die/dissolve/come apart/unmanifest"... back into "nonbeing" or "nonexistence". This is the law... thus, simply... ALL that is born, must die, eventually. Whether that is people, situations, events.... EVERYTHING is impermanent, everything is transitory, no-thing lasts forever.

This too shall pass.

This simple phrase, and the truth it conveys, could apply to so much of my personal situation these past few months. New relationships, potential relationships, broken relationships, evolving relationships, change of job/work life, moving out living on my own. The transitory nature of life and reality has been on full display - when I look at it I truly realize this.

In regards to my current situation... this Truth is a comfort to my spirit and a foundation of strength. Seeing things with this perspective of truth taps in to the deep well of wisdom within me, and looking back throughout my life, I can see the eternal flux... and I can have faith... more than faith... KNOWING that my future will change again for the "better" and these things will turn around. In regards to my health and vitality... I have seen it decline in many ways from the time I was a teenager and especially from the time I was a very active, athletic and bright, bubbly, energetic child. I am now, at 23 years old, about to be 24, aware of how different I feel physically and energetically than how I felt at 16, 14, and even 10 years old. Right now, on a relative level, on the level of the physical body and it's energetic functions, I do not feel optimally well right now. 

THIS, TOO , shall pass. It is very important that I do not judge myself negatively for this phase of my life, not beat myself up about falling short of somehow idealized view of human "perfection", and not see the situation through an impartial and distorted lens, failing to see all of the wonderful growth and expansion that has been/is taking place within me spiritually as well, at the same time as this little "contraction" in my denser, physical body and thinking mind.

These cycles of part of life. Some times in our life we experience radiant health, blossoming vitality, physical beauty, sharp mental clarity, abundance of energy, and so on. Other times in our life we feel weak, we feel tired, we feel exhausted, our minds are foggy, we are low on energy, we are slightly anxious or depressed or stressed, we don't look our best, or feel our best. Where as the shining sun of radiant health is "yang", the cool dark night of un-ease is "yin". 

The great thing about life is... the scales WILL tip back in the opposite direction eventually. Especially when will, intention, and effort is applied in that direction. That is exactly what is happening. I can already see the many goods that is coming out of this somewhat rough period for me. I am experiencing first hand the "un-wellness" that I eventually want to help coach people out of. I am experiencing the raw caterpillar  state before transformation and renewal and grant me an experience of life as a butterfly that I can hardly imagine now. This time is giving me the motivation to honestly and squarely look at all my habits - how I choose to spend my time , what I choose to spend my days doing - and resolve to make changes where needed so as I can live a more productive, healthy, balanced, aligned and fulfilling life.

Now, this is where the main topic of "not grasping" the past and "coming to peace with the natural flux of life as it is" comes in. I COULD, if I choose to, judge myself negatively for these changes that have happened in my self and my personality over the past months or so. I could choose to view all these changes negatively, not see any positives to the changes, and just get down on myself, idealizing my past and wishing that I could get back to how I was then, while hating and loathing how I am now. That approach, however, is NOT healthy. And yes, I have been there. Done that. I know. I have had to expand my perception on the entire situation, however, to enlighten myself and free myself from the burdens of guilt, shame, self-doubt, and isolation that such a negative self-perception brings. I had to widen my lenses and see the bigger picture. 

In the bigger picture, life is all about balance. Life never stays the same. All things change, constantly swinging from one pole to the next and back again. Life has its seasons. Sometimes, things are at the height of yang, and sometimes, things are at the height of yin.... and the rest of the time there are in the area in between. Sometimes in my life I have been profoundly healthy and profoundly happy... other times I have been very low and down in body, mind, and spirit. At some times in my life I have had more strength and fitness and energetic radiance and energy... and at other times I have been more sedentary, more inward, more still, less physically strong, lower on energy, etc etc. It's just the cycles of life.

I have learned that I shouldn't get down on myself because I am going through a period in the cycle where I am weaker, or not as vibrantly healthy, or as outward-going and extraverted... it is a part of the cycles of life. I have been in a more inward, yin, inward-going, solitary, chill, flowing, watery, still state of being... and that is perfectly ok. It is exactly what I needed at that point in my journey for my growth. I have not been as much in a very yang, outward, active, socializing, engaged, fiery, moving state of being... and that is perfectly ok. It was necessary for me to experience so that I learn what I need to learn on my never-ending journey of growth and discovery. Part of the reason for these cycles has to do with my change in lifestyle over the years - more herb smoking, reading, meditating, slowing down, going within, journaling, introspecting, etc... it was a different phase and stage of life than earlier phases in my life when I was spending my days always out with friends, socializing, joking, playing sports, working out, sleeping more, eating more, being more productive, and so on. 

In my more inward-going cocoon phase that I've been in... I have transformed TREMENDOUSLY. I have gotten to know myself on a deeper level than perhaps ever before. I have looked at my self honestly... I have been so much by myself that I have had nowhere to run and little to distract me from myself... I have had to look at myself. Learn about myself. My relative "strengths" and my "weaknesses"... the journey that I have been on so far that has made me who I am today. I have become familiar and have had to work on the most important relationship in my life - my relationship with myself... which is fundamental to my relationship with the rest of all of life. I have faced my inner dragons, and I have overcome many of them, and I continue to do so every day. I am aware of my limitations, and my patterns, and how I would like to change to overcome them, and every day to embody more and more of the infinite potential that I know I AM.

So... to sum up. Life is a crazy journey man... for all of us. None of us are in this alone. We all have our struggles and battles within. We all have our tests. Our hardships, our hurdles, our pains and our sufferings... things we wish we could change about ourselves and the world... none of us are alone. We are not a-lone... we are all-one. Thus, we should see this CLEARLY... and have compassion for every single other human being in existence... because we are all on this crazy journey called life together. We all face the struggles of life, struggles of being human, we all want happiness and we are all trying to get through our individual shit to the other side of peace, lasting happiness, and freedom. The good news is... we sometimes get a peak on the other side of the shit... and we love it there, and our soul is at rest. The better news is... if we really put our hearts, minds and souls into it.... we can rest in that meadow on the other side of the shit for longer and longer periods of our days... we can learn not to take this shit too seriously... to see it, acknowledge it, smell it, gag a bit, feel it... and then let it go, don't let it keep us down in it forever... and use it's offensive shitty smell to get out of it and lift ourselves to the meadow of light... where we can be free and dance in the sun forever... dancing in the eternal flow of yin and yang, knowing the futility and silliness of ever trying to control such a vast, eternal and magical flow as this.

True Nature Retreat

True Nature Retreat

During our 3 hours out in pristine nature... We will:

Connect with nature and the infinite web of life
Connect with our Self and our deepest true inner nature
Connect with each other and all beings in love and harmony

We will learn to quiet our minds, relax our bodies, deepen our breaths, balance and align ourselves, open our postures, open our hearts, and learn how to make our minds and our ego the servant to our heart and our essence. [and the inner wisdom/guru/connection to the infinite intelligence/inner nature] 

We will learn:

• How to "Get High" naturally, 
• How to utilize certain knowledge and inner technology in order to cultivate a strong, peaceful, harmonious, comfortable, easy, loving vibration and way of being.
• How to master ourselves and our own domain.
• How to listen.... truly listen. How to tap into and listen to the inner universal knowing within
• How to use the technologies of breath and movement and meditation and mind-understanding in order to embody pure love in action  our fullest potential.
• How to embody our fullest potential and transform in a predictable and measured way over time so that we may best serve the world while expressing our own unique gifts.

In short, we will go out into nature and in into ourselves... and our Self...

In short, we go out into the nature and end up in the vast realm of pure peace within.

Special aspects of True nature Retreat, specifically related to Nature:

• We will include basic, fundamental tai-chi/chi-kung standing and rooting exercises, barefoot, to emphasize and help people experience proper alignment and grounding and rooting and balance and relaxation on psych-physical level.
• We will be barefoot quite a lot
• We will explore the power of nature at drawing the mind/ego/head's attention out of itself and into the broader expanse of greater reality. Mindfulness. One cannot be fully concentrated on the beauty of a blue sky while simultaneously replaying memories from the power. We will explore the power of nature to invoke mindfulness, calm the mind and calm the nervous system, which is ultimately the foundation from which most healing arises.
• We will do animal sighting and plant sighting as methods of mindfulness, of relaxing our mind (which relaxes the body automatically)
• We will encourage people to come outside and ground into nature and into themselves as much as possible. 
• Pain vs Pleasure. Pursue pleasures only and you will never find lasting peace. However, if you face the painful and the hurtful aspects of life rather than running away and avoiding or denying, then you can grow and evolve rapidly. We are all here to be human, to be imperfect, to be ever striving towards the perfection and peace and harmony of life.

True Nature Yoga - Class Structures and Intentions and Principles

All classes will focus on mindfulness (being fully in the now and in the body, not in the mind) or presence; complete and proper breathing; deep relaxation; and finding the still space of peace and quiet and freedom that resides within each of us - the stillness and freedom and unlimited creative potential that is the source and core essence of all.

Arc of Class:

1. We will start by tuning in and relaxation. Of simply bringing our attention and awareness away from the outside world, obligations, concerns and occupations and bring our attention inward - into our bodies, into our breath, into the here and now. Bringing our awareness and our attention inward into our felt sense and our felt experience of the here and now, of the present moment.

2. From here, we will begin to flower outward into opening, balancing, and aligning movement. We will awaken our breath. We will focus on proper diaphragmatic breathing and complete breathing, and from there we will begin to flow outward into simple, effective movements for releasing tension and aligning the spine and the body. Start with small, simple but effective movements.

3. After awakening the breath and the major joints of the body, we will start to heat the body and prepare for slightly more vigorous and large movement. We will do sun salutations and vinyasas... flowing sequences connected with the breath to solidify the mind-body connection and to build warmth and heat in the body, warming up the muscles and further awakening the breath and the vital energy.

4. After the body has been awakened, opened and heated, we will commence with the most vigorous part of the practice. We will include standing poses, balancing poses, backbends, forward bends, twists, and inversions. We will move the body in all planes, in all directions, working every muscle and joint in the body and circulating the blood and the lymph.

5. After the peak of the class, we will begin to cool down as we prepare for deep guided relaxation and meditation. We will focus on forward folds, seated postures, supine twists and other such cooling, relaxing practices. We will focus on staying with the sensations of our breath and our body, of relaxing and letting go and opening and softening.

6. Finally, we will end the class with deep guided relaxation and meditation. We will mentally do a body-scan relaxation, some light visualization practices, and subtle but powerful affirmations. After a comfortable savasana/deep relaxation, we will do a few minutes of sitting meditation - of "being here now". Then, we will slowly return our awareness and our energy back outwards and back into the world - refreshed, revitalized and full of positive energy.

People will then leave the classes feeling infinitely better than they did when they came in - both in body and in spirit. They will feel free of stress, free of tension, free of worry, free of all negative thought patterns - and thus they will live in bliss, freedom, happiness, love, connection, wonder, peace, and vitality.

This is the healing. This is the path. This is one of the many gifts that I will offer to the world - a guide to healing and enlightenment and comfort and connection and happiness.

 I cannot wait! I can, but I can't. :) All is flowing as it should. As it always does. I trust and I surrender to the flow of the ALL... it always takes me exactly where I need to be to be of the highest good for ALL.

All is ONE and ONE is ALL... we are ALL the ONE, we are ALL the ALL. Thus, we should love everything and everyone because it is ALL really the same essence as us... the entire universe is all ONE ocean, and though we are all separate waves and drops in that ocean, we are ALL still the SAME OCEAN. That is the truth. That is a fact. That is freedom. That is universal love. That is ONE LOVE. That is harmony. That is enlightenment. That is good. :)

Beautiful Synchronicity

Wow, What a beautiful life this is.

Everything truly is coming together, exactly as it should.

Everything is playing out perfectly, exactly as it should.

----------------

These past few weeks have been a tremendously powerful and trans-formative time in my life. I have experienced much difficulty and struggle but also much elation and beauty and expansion. I have been sacrificing a lot and nearly going crazy working so much to support myself, but at the same time my life is expanding in the direction of my heart more and more every day.

I now LOVE where I live. I live on my own, I have my own awesome little place, my best friend/kitty lives with me, my place is CHILL and is my haven on space and quiet and peace.

I now have a flourishing social life, moreso than I have had in a long time. I hang out with the awesome people at Ruby Tuesday's, I have 2 awesome neighbors upstairs that I am becoming good friends with.

Most importantly, I met Audrey. This beautiful soul and kindred spirit with whom I have connected with already. A beautiful union is taking place, and I am absolutely loving every minute of it. A beautiful soul with a kind heart, a sweet and free flowing energy, a wise and intelligent mind, an artistic spirit, and a real, down-to-earth, fun vibration. We see each other. I already get the sense that we get each other, naturally. Intuitively. We resonate. We vibe. It is a beautiful thing, and I just look forward to the continual blossoming and evolution of this connection.

On top of all of this, living on my own and having a blossoming social and personal life, I also now have multiple opportunities to start teaching yoga and to spread healing and enlightenment all across the community in which I live! I have the opportunity to teach downtown at the Yoga Shack, I have a group of people that already want to take donation classes from me in the woods and at parks, and I have the opportunity to teach at Reflex Arts. No doubt more opportunities will open up as well.

I just feel so incredibly blessed, abundant and fortunate, and I give so much thanks to life for being the beautiful dream that it is.

I look back, and I realize that everything Shaman Jeff foresaw in my "future" has come true. I moved, I am moving into my power and utilizing my teaching and healing abilities, my creativity is being inspired and awakened and activated, I met a girl and am having a beautiful new relationship, and I am truly coming into my own power.

 I am moving ever increasingly in the direction of my truest heart, my deepest desires and my greatest dreams. I have been through many tests and trials in the past few months, things have not been easy, but now I can see that it was all for a reason, and that it is all resolving and coming full circle now. Winter is giving way to spring, and what a beautiful spring and summer it is going to be.

Life is all about seasons. It is all about cycles. If you are in a period of dark, don't fret - be patient, it will pass, and the cold night will be replaced by a bright day before you realize it.

my FUCKING badass life

I cannot WAIT for my FUCKING. BADASS new life.

Where everyday my mind is free and detached, my being and soul rests in the eternal bliss and ease of pure nonattached presence. Where my spirit is untouched by darkness and radiates pure light. Where my felt, sensed experienced is one of bliss and fluidity and openness. Where my heart is wide open and light and love spreads from my being to all corners of the globe effortlessly, naturally.

I am an artist.
I am a creator.
I am an explorer.
I am a writer.

These are the things I will do. Create. Explore. Share. Serve. Uplift. Inspire.

When I move, my life will be fucking AWESOME. *scratch that - it will CONTINUE to be fucking awesome and blessed, abundantly full of beauty and light *

I am completely whole, fulfilled and at peace with the moment and the universe AS IT IS, right NOW. All is as it is meant to be, for it is. 

Though I am whole and at peace, and my peace and fulfillment is not attached to any certain external conditions, this seemingly dualistic play of universal consciousness is still here; and in this dream-world, there is desire. There are experiences I long to have. There are senses I want to sense, tastes I want to taste, sights I want to see, music I want to hear, music I want to make, love I want to make, love I want to feel, and things I want to do. Though all is one and all is perfect, and the essence of my mind grasps onto nothing, I do still intend to experience deeply and share deeply this temporary blink of the cosmic (I) eye. 

Thus, this is some of the badass shit I will be experiencing in my life in the near future...

... I AM SO FUCKING STOKED!!! 

• Going out, running and doing yoga on the beach EVERY MORNING

• Rising with the sun, setting with the sun. Living in harmony with nature's cycles. 

• Hanging out and connecting deeply with like-minded, awakened souls and kindred spirits. Friends, more and more. Growth, connection, community.

• Teaching donation-based spiritual practice / true nature yoga retreat classes at the state parks around Bradenton. The many beautiful water-front parks, perfect for teaching yoga and tai chi.

• Uniting with the feminine energy in a beautiful way. Beautiful sex.

• Like minds, awakened souls, kindred spirits, sensual bodies yoked and united in cosmic embrace. The boundaries of the false sense of "separate I" are broken and one realizes and remember one's oneness with the entirety of the whole universe. One realizes that one's true self is not just his physical body, but the body and the essence of the entire universe as a whole. the microcosm and the macrocosm, the individual and the universal, are one and the same - nondual - not two, but one. 

• Riding my bike all around town. My beautiful area of living. Meditating and practicing yoga all around the area by my place.

• Going to the farmer's markets and flea marts every weekend for local shit. 

•  Buying as much of my shit LOCALLY as possible. Except herb - import only pls.

• Write songs and articles and ideas and podcasts outside in the beautiful nature around my place. In the parks and waterfront areas.

• Creating beautiful music in my awesome chill-studio.

• Living in my DOPE, DOPE DOPE DOPE DOPE ass little chill pad.  With sick ass lighting, funny shit on the walls, dope positive shit on the walls, marley on the walls, inspirational shit on the walls. plants in the house. Plants and flowers in the kitchen. Fans around. Dope ass computer set-up. Dope ass yoga set-up. Suki living with me. AAAH MAN!!!
• Enjoying THE SWEET LIFE. La Dolce Vida. Freedom and fulfillment. A life full of pleasure and indulging in the things you love... in balance. 

LIFE IS GOING TO BE SO DAMN SICK!!!! "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!" ~ GURREN LAGAANN!!  

See, we are all the masters of our own destiny. Especially when we become masters of our own mind, and realize our own power.


"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become." - Buddha

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." - Buddha

It is time to loosen up our spine, awaken our dormant energy and power, move and expand our energy flow, circulate, and reveal and radiate the infinite Light Within.

The time to step into our power is NOW. For NOW is ALL that is.

Time to live blissfully, live to the fullest and continue to savor this sweet, sweet life.

:D MMMMM...

Peace

Sharing The Journey

It's all about sharing our journeys with each other.
Our trials. Our joys. Our lessons. Our weaknesses. Our fears. Our darkness. Our light. Our power.
It is about letting ourselves be seen, and seeing each other.
Truly seeing each other. Accepting each other. Forgiving each other. Understanding each other.

This is what I hope to use as inspiration for sharing my life through my music and art.
To bare my soul and let myself be seen. Let myself be seen and felt and accepted and appreciated and understood. Let myself be seen and thus connect with others and see others who choose to open up as well.

Understanding that we are all here with the same basic purpose and desire - to experience as much happiness and peace as possible and to avoid as much pain and strife as possible.
We all want the same things in the end. We all encounter different versions of the same obstacles.
Pain. Fear. Loss. Anxiety. Despair. Doubt. Sadness. Aloneness. Suffering.
Yet, we also get times of light. When all is well. When all is good.
Joy. Love. Abundance. Freedom. Light. Happiness. Connection. Peace.
This is the cyclical nature of existence. Constant flux from one pole to the other.
The question is... is it ever possible to transcend this constant swing of the pendulum from peace to suffering, light to dark,
and experience a state of existence that remains steady and ever-peaceful, free of all darkness?
In a word: "enlightenment"? "Liberation"?
That is what we all seek, in some form of another. Freedom from pain and misery.
Because we all experience it. Deeply.
So we arrange things in our life so that they are pleasing to us and provide us with as much joy and solace and comfort as possible. Whatever path we take in life, whatever decisions we make, we usually do so on some level hoping that this path or decision will prove to be pleasant to us, and hoping that it will help us avoid pain and suffering.
Everything from what kind of lifestyle we choose to lead, what kind of relationships we choose to have (or not have), what activities we spend our days doing, how we choose to think and act, what things we aspire to, what things we try to avoid.
Ultimately, though, many of us discover that no matter what we try, no matter what we cling to in our lives to bring us that lasting happiness, inevitably those things and conditions change, dissipate and eventually disappear. "All things all impermanent." Clinging on to that which is impermanent for our permanent happiness and satisfaction is destined to fail.
And thus, many of us go through life and "lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in [us], as Henry David Thoreau once put it.
We go through life, expecting to find happiness from this relationship, from this career, from making this amount of money, from being this amount of popular, from having this many friends, from whether or not this team wins the game or not, on and on, and yet we inevitably find that these conditions constantly change and do not last. And thus, our "happiness" tied to them does not last either, and once the relationship ends, or the job turns out to not be what we thought it would be, or we move to a new place and suddenly don't feel popular and important anymore, then our happiness fades as quickly as the setting sun at dusk, and we experience the darkness of suffering, of pain, of sadness and despair and bitterness and fear. Then we desperately try and find some other external condition to cling to for our peace, but inevitably the same thing happens, those conditions change and fade away, and we once again find ourselves back in the darkness. Constantly cycling from temporary happiness to pain, temporary happiness to pain.
This is the human condition.
Is there a remedy? Is there a solution to fix this seemingly endless existential angst, darkness and suffering that plagues our human lives and experience? Is there a state beyond the darkness, liberated once and for all from the suffering and pain that exists in human life?
The wise ones, sages and so-called "saints" and women of all ages in human history have all answered with a unified answer: yes.
Yes, they say, there is a state of existence free and beyond the suffering and unsatisfactory experience of mundane existence. There is a liberation - there is a bliss - there is a nirvana - there is a heaven on earth - there is freedom - there is enlightenment.
They know because they experience it themselves. And anyone observing them and their lives could see that yes, such freedom from suffering is in fact possible and attainable, for these people are living and breathing examples of it.
What, do these wise and liberated ones have to say as to how to attain this elusive lasting happiness that we all truly seek?
Is it in living a certain way? Doing certain deeds? Arranging life in a certain way?
The wise ones say that, yes, arranging the external conditions in your life does in fact bring one some measure of pleasantness and happiness is one's experience,
but most important, "The kingdom of heaven is within". In other words, ultimate freedom from suffering starts and ends with the Mind. It is all about the Mind and the Heart.
If the mind and the heart and pure, free of ignorance and delusion and all the negative mind-states resultant, then one speaks and acts from a pure heart within, and thus only good comes of his actions and thoughts and deeds in the outer world.
The kingdom of heaven is really an inward state - a state of being.
When one's mind is present, quiet, still, and alert. When one is non-grasping. When one knows his oneness with all, and thus feels connection and compassion with all (open heart), then one naturally speaks and acts with pure heart and good intent. Thus, what is returned back to him is pure and good. The universe, being essentially a mirror, reflects to one what one puts out.
This is the law of karma, essentially.
All actions have their reactions, all causes have their effects. All actions have their corresponding consequence.
They tell us that by spending our days in ways that we would optimally enjoy, serving others, connecting with and being good to others, relaxing, calming and stilling our minds, resting in pure present moment awareness, refraining from negative, harmful actions and doing only beneficial, loving actions, and by seeing through the delusion of separation and duality and life/death, and thus letting go of our grasping onto the ever-changing flux of the universe, then we can gain lasting peace and happiness, for there will no longer be anything to cause us grief or pain or suffering anymore. When we have conquered our own mind and established it in truth and purity, then we are free from the grips of suffering which only arise from an untamed mind which becomes wrapped and trapped in delusion and ignorance and impurity.
"The Kingdom of Heaven is within".

Thus, through my music, I will share my journey. Share my life. My ups. My downs. My good times. My bad times. My joys and my struggles. And, most importantly, what I have learned from my struggles. How I have grown. What I have had to let go of and accept. My quest for truth and freedom and enlightenment. My quest of inward transformation and purification. My never-ending journey of growth, transformation, change and evolution.

Intentions and Aspirations... Where I'm Coming From and Where I'm Going

My Journey Up Until Now

People nowadays, at work and other places, see that I am a healthy and relatively at-peace, joyful and warm and friendly person. I seem happy, and my peace and happiness and joy and warmth spreads to all whom I come across. I beam smiles at everyone and the smiles are returned. I make jokes and make people laugh, and people do the same. I don't take things too seriously... I laugh a lot. I talk to people confidently and can get real with people. Talk to them about real things. I seem like I enjoy my days and overall enjoy my life. My smile is warm and authentic and real.

If peace, confidence, happiness, and personal power are present now... this was NOT always the case. Far from it. There was a time in my life, not too long ago, where these were the furthest things away from describing the reality of my experience. I now feel like I am on the "other side" of the place I was at a couple years ago... I am now on the sunny side of the mountain, and out of the dark, cold and gloomy/hellish reality that I experienced a couple of years ago.

From about somewhere in my late high school years (about the time of my senior year) until about 2012... my experience of life was not a good one. Life was not joyful. The world did not seem like a safe place. My heart was not at peace. As this phase progressed and proceeded towards its lowest point, somewhere around '09-'10-'11... daily life felt almost unbearable. I could not even go to the grocery store without anxiety and fear gripping me intensely. When we went on vacation to see family I was literally crying and going crazy due to the anxiety I was feeling about simply being around other people. Anxious and fearful thoughts about being around other people was a constant in my life. I was depressed. I didn't do much activity physically, just spent most of my days on the computer, reading, or smoking weed and playing video games or surfing the web. Loneliness was a frequent companion... and I generally felt lost in life. When I smiled, they were forced smiles... my heart was not truly happy and smiling. The best I could do was act like I was OK... but people could really see the truth if they looked closely, and I knew it. I didn't want those close to me, like my family, seeing the state I was in. I was in a dark place and I wanted to be there all alone. I didn't want to "infect" anyone else with my unhappiness and my misery. So I isolated myself.

Overall, I was just in a dark place. Negative emotions, pain and fear were experienced every day. Life felt hard... even the little things. Going to grocery store triggered so much emotional baggage and unconscious fear and anxiety, and I felt like I was forever under the grips of these internal demons. The days were cloudy and grey. To make matters worse, those around me and those who loved and cared about me most could not truly understand it, for it was all happening within me. No one could really help me.

But I had decided that I was tired of this... being in this darkness - this fear, this pain, this suffering, this internal hell-on-earth that I was experiencing. I was sick of it... and I realized that I HAD to find my way out. I realized that there were other people in this world that truly DID live in the sunshine... people who were completely free of fear and suffering, who lived their lives experiencing deep peace, joy, creativity, freedom, and love/laugher on a daily basis. I could SEE them... people on the "other side". I KNEW they existed. I KNEW that that freedom and liberation and nirvana was possible. 

SO I made up my mind. I RESOLVED. I vowed to myself that I would not go through the rest of my life and die with the internal suffering, pain, baggage, and intense/crippling anxiety that I experienced still plaguing me my entire life. I vowed that I needed to get past this dark place and fully experience the LIGHT of peace and freedom from these dark clouds of suffering. 

I wanted to change. I needed to. No... more than that.... I needed to TRANSFORM. To go from the person I WAS to the person I could POTENTIALLY BE. To go from the small, limited, scared, timid, wounded, afraid Chris to the fearless, boundless, humble, universally compassionate, confident, badass Chris I could become. I KNEW that what I was doing in life up to now was not working... I was NOT fulfilling the ultimate "aim" of life... to be truly happy and peace. I couldn't take another day of the struggling and suffering. I HAD to change. And I vowed I would do whatever was necessary.

And so I did. 

I sought the wisdom and knowledge and expertise from experts and masters from all over the world. I bought and read books - dozens and dozens of them. I read thousands of internet articles. Watched hundreds of youtube videos. ALL with the aim of providing myself with the knowledge, wisdom, and inspiration that I needed in order to complete and achieve my transformation... my liberation. I wanted this freedom and liberation so badly that I completely quit and left behind an honors college and scholarships in order to embark on this inward quest for liberation, freedom and inner peace 100% of the time, full-time. 

Many maintained I was a fool for doing so... claiming that all college kids are able to go through this process while at the same time going to school. But I know for a FACT that if I was spending hours and hours a day walking to and from classes, studying and studying for all of my classes (which  I did not truly care about), going out with friends and partying... I KNOW that if I was doing that with my time while being enrolled to a university and collecting student loans.... I would not have had NEARLY the amount of free time I did in this "cocoon" period in which I could INTENSELY and intuitively search for the true remedies and solutions to my inner turmoil, angsts, pain and suffering that I experienced daily.

From dusk until dawn I focused all of my energies on "Healing" myself and "freeing myself" of all the mental/emotional baggage that held me down and kept me back. I learned to truly observe myself and my own mind. Through my own research and practice, I learned SO much from so many different modalities and techniques and wisdom through my studies and my spiritual practice. I discovered and learned about SO many different self-healing modalities. I tried and practiced many of the principles.

Slowly but surely I started to change. I slowly and slowly began transmuting my weak, unhealthy, imbalanced, misaligned spine/ body into a strong, comfortable, healthy, balanced and aligned spine/body. I realized that the positive changes only continued, and began to accelerate as well. So I stuck with these modalities and worked with them over and over and over.

Yoga. QiGong. Pilates. Breathwork. Meditation. Movement/Exercise.

2 years later... I am a completely different person than I was before. My facial expression and posture and energy in my ~2009-2011 pic compared to my 2013 pic is astonishing. On one hand you see someone who is partially dead inside, not deeply happy and who doesn't live that amazing of a life... 2 years later and you see a glowing face smiling wide and beaming confidently with GREAT, connected and relaxed yet upright posture... a face that beams pure warmth, absence of fear/negativity. 

2 years later... people respond to me entirely different when I meet them or walk up to them, or even walk past them. I light people up with my presence as opposed to cast a shadow. I am, for the most part, FREE. FREE of the darkness and the demons and the clouds that held me back and obscured my true natural radiance, energy, and peace. I feel like I have finally made it to the promised land I so desperately longed for and so adamantly searched for for so long... heaven on Earth. I seek no longer... I have found. I can rest and be still. My daily experience of internal hell has transformed into one of internal heaven.. where my days are filled my good feelings, love, wisdom, continual growth/learning, and peace.  

Now that I have gotten here... I have discovered a deep purpose for my life as well: to be a conduit, a guiding light showing the possibility of transformation and liberation that is possible... and helping others to achieve that metamorphosis through the self-healing modalities that I have experienced and employed myself. Yoga, movement, breathwork, mindfulness, meditation, presence, relaxation, nature solitude, spiritual contemplation.... these are the tools I want to use to help people make that leap and transformation in their very way of being and experiencing life. It is not easy... but if the person is ready to face life head on and change for the best... for the greater good of not only themselves but all other people as well... then I want to be there as a guide and a helper.

Where I am Headed

Now I am going to live the life of my dreams. I have chosen not to settle for teaching myself "marketable" skills and doing things that do not come naturally to me. I have chosen to compromise as little as possible. I have realized that the true aim of life is to be happy... not forever working towards a future happiness... but to be happy NOW... on a day to day basis. 

According to this definition of "success" and fulfillment... I am successful. I have already made it. I am happy. I want my life to be one of freedom and happiness. I want to LIVE the life I want to, the life that I dream of... the life where I travel and see the world and all the majestic beauty contained within it. The beautiful people. The beautiful places... with vibes so chill and real. A life where my "work" is a natural extension of my heart and my purpose... helping people go from the dark places to a place of light and happiness and freedom and inner peace, utilizing the experience, knowledge and wisdom I have gained through my own studies and my own experience. Through the healing arts and the experience of self-realization. Helping people actualize and embody their highest potential through the transformational process of inner work and enlightenment. The highest potential that is happy, inwardly free and harmonious... and that gives and serves the world from this happy and harmonious state of being.

"Holistic Personal Training".... Mind, body, breath and energy work. I can help people with my knowledge and experience TODAY.

My Father for instance... if he was truly open to it, I could help him IMMENSELY with my knowledge. Help him: 

- Cleanse his body

- Revitalize his worn-down mind and body through relaxation techniques, breathwork, and yogic energetically-opening and aligning poses

- Help him face and release deeply ingrained subconscious emotional traumas/baggage.... release the hurt and anger towards his dad and even his mom... help him face and move through the grips of his past and his demons/dragons... his pain body.

- Help him experience life in renewed, reinvigorated and clarified way.

- Help him finally quit cigarettes.

- Put himself on track to adding years to his life yearly instead of taking them away through his stress and bad habits.

I just KNOW that I have so much to offer people ALREADY... I will just continue to expand my skills and knowledge and credentials in this field until I can REALLY feel confident helping all sorts of people heal themselves, overcome their darkness/personal hell and enter into the liberated world of true peace, fulfillment, contentment, joy and freedom. Help facilitate self-transformation and healing. 

I will Express myself artistically and share my experiences and my journey and my visions and my perspectives on reality. 

I will travel and see the world.

I WILL live the life of my dreams... continue to be free, happy and at peace....

and help spread that happiness and peace and harmony all around the world...

hopefully making the world a better place than it was when I came here. 

:)

Peace

2014: The Mission

Year Beyond Limitation

This year, I will:

• Amplify and accelerate my training and my personal evolution.
• With the expressed goals of:
• Attaining more strength
• More and more (creative) energy to take through the day
• A more animated and lively presence
• Higher and higher levels of fitness, strength and well-being
• Greater and great levels of mental clarity and agility
• More and more confidence and poise and grace
• Including multiple facets of training at the same time: holistic approach
• Powerlifting / Olympic Weightlifting Training @ Youfit
• Pilates classes
• Basic grounded movement (spinal articulations, low gravity etc)
• Yoga classes
• Soccer, Hockey, and Basketball training every week
• Broaden and expand my social life.
• Go to more social gatherings and parties I am invited to, with the boost of confidence from my training and my increase in energy and presence
• Meet girls and people of like minds through doing activities that I love and am interested in
• Pilates, yoga, aikido, tai-chi classes
• Cinco soccer casual 5v5 league in Tampa
• Live music shows and what not
• Hiking and spending hella time in nature
• Achieve and enjoy a life of independence, self-reliance and relative freedom.
• I will move out of my parent's house, room with Jacob and potentially 2 of his friends
• I will support myself and pay my bills through my own 2 jobs and the independent revenue streams I create through my gifts and creativity
• I will enjoy a much greater level of freedom and feeling of adulthood
• I will be able to bring girlfriends and friends over to the house whenever I want
• I will be able to create in a free and creatively inspiring atmosphere
• I will be able to make my own choices and live my own life completely
• I will be able to grow my own food (and other such helpful herbs :D)
• Focus, create, and share my gifts and visions and voice with the world.
• Re-create and put my old music out there
• Record all of my old music tracks in much higher quality and with better flow, energy and delivery
• Compile all of my old freestyles, and just compile ALL of my completed yet old songs to date
• Give these out to people I meet and people at work, so they get a sample of just my raw but unfocused skill... my practice work, in a sense
• Sit down, focus and create new material and songs: Digital Forest, and Sounds of the Deep
• These projects, as well as my old material, and all the Basic material, REALLY has the potential to gain a little following, a base of fans and supporters. We have gotten overwhelming positive feedback on everything we have done, and we all recognize within ourselves and each other that we have some dope ass skill, and we will only get better the more we practice. I have had people TELL me that they think a lot of people would like our stuff and that we should put it out there more to gain more supporters and share the enjoyment and energy and positive vibes of our tunes with more people
• We could very well potentially book a live show or two and really get our first tastes of what it is like creating and sharing music... the live, interactive, loving vibe of performance and connecting with the listeners directly, in the 3D flesh
• Create a website dedicated to elevating yourself to the highest degree and creating a life of perfect freedom, self-expression, community, joy and creativity.
• This website will be the seed and the first manifestation of the C.O.R.E. Holistic Life Center I will eventually open one day, potentially in Colorado.
• The Center completely dedicated to positive growth, self-transformation and self-actualization, actualizing the greatest potential within each of us... healing our lives and becoming the heroes of our life stories... taking ourselves past our fears and limitations to worlds we previously could only have dreamed on. Healing as individuals so that we can heal as a collective, as a planet.
• A center where we can meet people of like minds from all over the world... see that we kindred spirits are, indeed, out there.. and make the connections that we have all been yearning for and seeking... open and understanding and supportive relationships with people who are on the same wavelength as us in life. True, deep and authentic friendships and fam/communal vibration.
• Travel the United States. Explore this grand and beautiful world. Express my limitlessness and freedom through this out of the box choice. Learn so much.
• Travel to the Smokey Mountains for a little trip in the spring with Travis and Teylor and the crew, whoever wants to come
• Take a WWOOF trip across the country, to Colorado, to have an epic adventure and also get a taste of the place I want to move to as soon as possible

Metamorphosis

I will make a piece of music… an album…

that will take the listener, in complete immersion, 

(via the third eye vision/imagination which we use

as kids to imagine the stories and mythologies we 

are told and read…)

on an experience of the timeless journey of self-transformation and self-actualization…

based off of my own experience…

but slightly different, dramatized, and universalized.

The PATH of the story, the journey and the character's evolution:

1. The Uninitiated World… in ignorance and suffering.

Here is the character before realizing wisdom and embarking down the path of evolution and Self-transformation.

Here, the character believes he is a separate being in a separate and foreign universe. Fear follows him like his shadow.

The character is unawake to the true nature of himSelf and the Reality of which he is a part of. He is ignorant of the Truth. 

He is blind to the light. He lives in fear and separation and darkness. He functions as the ordinary, conditioned mind. 

His vital life energy flow through his being is blocked and restricted by the fear and neuroses of his conditioned mind (and body).

He suffers. Things and events outside of him rob him of his peace and happiness constantly (really it is his own mind). 

He tries to "get" things to fill the whole… to feel fulfilled… he tries to get people to think highly of him, he tries to have lots of sex,

he tries drugs, he fills his life with material pleasures, he reads books… all to try and fill the void of this existential angst and suffering.

He longs for salvation… for liberation from the constant ups and downs (especially the downs)… for lasting peace and happiness.

And thus he starts to seek it from those who seem to have attained it… he starts seeking Truth and Wisdom…  he yearns for the Light.

He yearns to evolve and transform and become like those enlightened, free, self-realized Butterflies he seeks inspiration from…

he yearns for Metamorphosis. And thus the journey begins.

2. The glimpse beyond the veil… the glimpse of the Light of the Truth and Liberation. 

The character seeks wisdom from the elders and the awakened and liberated ones… those who KNOW, those who ARE the LIGHT. Who have the ultimate peace and happiness that he seeks.

He has a deep, veil-piercing, illuminating experience. He tries deep meditation and surpasses the surface level ordinary mind (and its thoughts, feelings and perceptions) and pierces deeply into his true essence.

He tries a sacred plant given to him by the nature elder guides in order to Awaken his true seeing and pierce the veil of ignorance and illusion.

He sees himself and his mind and his whole life situation from the higher perspective of pure consciousness and infinite awareness and universal intelligence… the all-knowing, pure, perfect, formless essence of consciousness… 

the MIND that is the source and essence of the entire universe. Sees that he is now Awake to that which he was previously not.

Sees that before this he was functioning Blind and Asleep to the Light, but in this instance he Sees and is Awake. 

Sees that in this moment, in this glimpse, he has pierced the veil of clouds of darkness that previous obscured and en-darkened his life 

and now all he experiences is the Light and the warmth and the sun and the joy of the Truth and the True nature of him Self and all Reality.

Then, eventually the experiences ends and the character is back to his normal, more limited consciousness.

3. The infinite journey of self-refinement, purification, and service

Constantly shedding the ignorant and the asleep in himself 

and residing as the pure, perfect, free, harmonious, nondual and compassionate essence that he is, truly.

Seeing, through his essence, the manifestations of his ordinary, lower, conditioned mind/body,

and moving beyond their power and their grasp. Letting them go and choosing purposefully, rather than reacting unconsciously.

Eventually… he/she is forever resting as his highest self of fearlessness, selflessness, universal love, compassionate, and beneficial service and action in the world. 

His inner hero, his inner Bodhisattva, his inner Great One, his inner Neo shines forth in all its greatness 

and casts a bright light on the world, helping to the Light and Awaken many many more of the minds still En-darkened and Asleep to the Light of the Truth.

Thus he becomes a hero and legend and moves beyond. Lives to serve the greater whole.

-------

My own personal story, from where I draw my experience.

1. I was in highschool. I realized that I was troubled, in life. I wasn't at peace. I didn't feel free. I was unhappy. I was not fulfilled by life. 

Thus, I was not attaining the ultimate goal and success in life - peace and happiness. 

As a young kid - I WAS all of those things. I was free, happy, fulfilled and my cup raneth over in ecstasy for life itself. 

I was fast, strong, healthy, and life was very pleasurable.

Now I was less active, I had sinusitis, anxiety, depression, my mind wasn't doing great and it was reflecting in my body, for the bodymind is One.

My mind was troubled. I wondered what was the purpose of life… what was the purpose of my life? I yearned for meaning, so my soul could rest.

Self-esteem issues. How I am perceived.  Issues with my parents. 

Not feeling fulfilled by life as a whole… and craving to do so. Thirsting to. Dying to.

I was in college and could not stand it… I did not know what I was doing there or with my life… I felt miserable, drained, empty and trapped.

So I seek knowledge. I spend my days in my dorm, not going to any classes, but reading Alan Watts books, reading the Tao te Ching, studying the writings of the Buddha,

Lao Tzu, Jesus, and all of the sages and enlightened beings across time. Of absorbing documentary after documentary, video after video of mind-opening and enlightening knowledge and wisdom.

2. Now my inner search has begun. I leave college to focus and embark on this inward path COMPLETELY, full-time.

 Psychadelics. Eckhart Tolle. Experiences of meditation and yoga and energy work and much spiritual reading.

Psylocibin mushroom experienced pierced the veil of illusion and ignorance so deeply that I came to KNOW and GLIMPSE the Light and the truth deeply.

I felt the peace that passes all peace… the indescribable bliss of BEING… of resting in universal truth and knowing… of being ONE whole and not two. 

I felt and realized the Natural Great Perfection, and the truth of Nonduality… Onenness… and universal love and bliss.

After that peak, I started to fall into the valleys again. I could see so clearly the FEAR that was conditioned into my mind and body and being that was preventing me

from being my free, blissful, heavenly nirvana essence all the time. 

The FEAR that, I learned, was nothing more than a product of the veil of ignorance of the limited, conditioned, dualistic mind…

separate and smaller and less substantial than my eternal true nature of great perfection… freedom, unending peace, wholeness and infinite love.

Here becomes the process of training.. and refinement… facing tests… trials… obstacles… meeting wise teachers and helpers… everything teaching lessons…

everything further and further growing and refining the person now on this ever upwardly spiraling journey to the complete Light and Truth and Liberation.

He faces trials and overcomes and learns and continually, gradually and without fail he continues to grow and evolve and purify back to his true, free, loving and joyful essence.

3. Now he starts to stabilize… and he sees that he has completely transformed/metamorphosed from the uninitiated, ignorant, unhappy, fearful, separate and limited person he was

into the wise, knowing, initiated, realized, happy, blissful, unified, compassionate, fearless and limitless creative being that he IS now. 

(and sees that he always has been, deep inside at the core essence before and behind all of the dust and conditioned and b.s. piled on top, the clouds that temporarily obscured the sky that was always there)

Now he is completely free and at peace… he no longer lives under the illusion of fear or ignorance… he is fearless and untouchable… his is a master of Self. He knows himself as ALL and thus LOVES ALL.

He knows his power… he is aware of his Light… of his awake-ness… of his freedom and liberation...

and out of his compassion, he makes it his mission for the rest of his lifetimes to be and spread this Light of truth, freedom, liberation and ultimate peace,

through the medium of what he Loves to do… his own personal gifts and idiosyncrasies… his own personal style… 

Life is a playground for him… as a free being… he is not limited by anything or the limiting thoughts of the conditioned minds of "others"…

he chooses to act compassionately, help the world, and also  just ENJOY and LIVE the SH** out of his life and experience and take in as much of the wonder and the beauty of this infinite magical cosmic dream as he can.

Free of the limits of fear or self-imposed self-limiting beliefs. Knows his infinite creative potential and power, and lives his life and shines the Light to the fullest.

He is not perfect… he is always learning and growing… but he realizes that in the ultimate level he already IS perfect… as is all… in the deepest level… so he continually grows and forever grows and actualizes into

the greatest being he can be… the acorn that becomes a full, beautiful, wise oak tree that never stops growing and maturity until it passes.

(Halfway through writing this section I forgot I was using the first-person tense and switched to 3rd person… but the entire thing is the story of myself lol)

------

It is the eternal journey of the Hero… the never-ending Hero's journey…

the journey we must all now take in order to Save the world. 

The world does not need more caterpillars… the world needs BUTTERFLIES… to FLY us up into the new and better world...

The world does not need Clark Kents who don't know they are Superman…

The world needs HEROES. SUPERMAN. WONDER WOMAN. SUPERHEROES. To come and save the day…

To save the world from the forces of Ignorance and Darkness and Illusion that

destroy life and cause suffering and pain for beings all over the planet, throughout history, in all times and spaces…

by shining fearlessly the Light and infinite Power of Truth and Wisdom and Love

that gives life and brings happiness, harmony and bliss. To ALL. Eternally.

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The album will not be exactly my story, but it will be a hero's journey... one that people can see and aspire to grow into the fullest actualization of their greatest Self and their full potential. Where people can see that through their own will and action, they too can transform from a caterpillar, go through the caccoon of self-transformation and come out as the beautiful butterfly Nature has programmed them to be.

Just as the redwood tree is already imprinted and programmed within the tiny acorn,
so is the magnificent, beautiful, wondrous and powerful SELF within us all
already imprinted and programmed in the beings we are now.

We are all already perfect,
all already is at it should be,
and yet the room and potential for growth and evolution is infinite.

When we, individually, metamorphose and evolve into our greatest selves, realize our own genius's,
the world as a whole and collective will begin to heal and evolve and transform for the better through the benevolent, compassionate, wise actions of the benevolent, free, wise, compassionate beings that have emerged.

That is the call I will be putting out to the listener... via the pictures painted, the stories told, the words sent and the music felt.